A Beneficent Mistress

So I designate myself after giving the Prime Minister some time off this weekend. The first was for a sleep study. She had increasing problems with fatigue and her MDs wanted to have her air pressure checked on her breathing machine before they prescribe anything. She said she slept well, but how could she when I was not cuddling with her? That was the 24th and 25th.

Then, yesterday she had the day off. I allowed her time to prepare a present for one of her friends in the office. That person is leaving for a new job with a very small agency that has an even smaller budget. A bunch of people agreed to buy things for her desk or office supplies in order to get her off to a good start. They gave them to the friend today. There will be more gifts later in the week from others as the friend gets ready to leave on Friday.

The Prime Minister found an old bulliten board and re-covered it with some coordinating fabric and trims. It was the first time she used a staple gun, which was harder that she thought. It was kind of funny to watch her. She also said that hammering brass tacks was harder than she expected it to be.

She also went to a dollar store and a resale shop for other things. She found a green muffin tin and a ruler that she painted daisies on to personalize them. She found a holder for some notepads someone else was giving her. And a tote bag for it all that had the American Flag on it. Since the friend's son is in the Marines, the friend especially appreciates things with the flag on it.

The PM enjoys doing this kind of thing and it's a good Jewish thing to do, so I usually let her do them when she wants.

Our Bittersweet Loss

It is with great sadness that all denizens receive the news that Admiral Hestorb has crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

Admiral Hestorb was one of the earliest allies of the Realm. Her Navy was frequently made available to our Realm for transportation or military maneuvers. Who could forget the river ride she piloted last summer or the luxurious quarters she provided to all those attending the Royal Adoption?

During a Memorial Service held yesterday, General Boopsie Bear commended the Admiral for her military genious in combatting the Acorn Liberation Front in her own backyard. He noted that the Admiral had an innate genious for land maneuvers as well as oceanic.

Sir Ambassador Scout Ringo reminded the citizens of the Admiral's role in fostering Princess Coco the Adorable's adoption by Princess Treasure. He also spoke admiringly of Hestorb's innate dignity and courtesy in matters of state.

Sir Spitfire reminesced about Hestorb, the bawdy sailor with whom he shared many good naps and nips.

Princess Coco recalled the tutalage provided to her by the Admiral before she assumed her governorship and, later, before her adoption, expressing gratitude for the wisdom passed on to her.

PM Neora Warmlapp offered condolences to the Admiral's able assistant and Mommeh, Carole Catsitter, without whom the Admiral could not have accomplished as much as she had. She also offered insight into the emotional process humans go through when helping a kitty to travel over the rainbow bridge. Audible sobs and sniffs echoed through the realm and all sent purrs or chirps of love to Carole.

Finally, Princess Treasure, visibly moved at the loss of her ally and friend, pronounced Tuesday, eruv Hannukah, to be a day of remembrance for Hestorb; all flags will fly at half-mast and the menorah candles will be dedicated to you.

Admiral will also be named 'a lion of the veldt', the highest award offered by the Sphinx clan to non-Jewish kitties, and her history will be recorded in the History of the Realm.

Continuing Computer Issues

The PM wrote a lovely blog post on Saturday or Sunday, translating Felinese to English 100% correctly. She also had a lovely picture of me from several years ago to include. However, when she went to publish it, something went wrong. Something is wrong with Javascript on her new computer.

What a shame, in addition to the above, she had also announced the date on which the Admiral and Nikita would renew their vows in a gala day.

We are continuing to work on the computer problems; any insight would be appreciated.

Just a note

The Prime Minister has a new computer and is encountering difficulties in becoming acquainted with it. She has been downloading old pictures onto it and had planned to post some of me over the weekend, but the computer did not cooperate.

We had a nice, but quiet, Capon Day on Saturday as it was not defrosted in time on Thursday. My, but a capon is significantly bigger than the chicken she normally gets! Lovely neckbones and wings! That's something to be thankful for!

In and Around the Castle

(A recent entry from the Princess' diary): We stay busy here at the castle. For the most part, my role is that of head of state. However, when the Prime Minister makes it rain and gets wet, I set aside my crown long enough to watch for drain devils; if they should start to take hold of the PM's toe, I can race to the rescue. Could Sir Spitfire teleport quickly enough to assist me if need be?

I stay entertained by the rabbits, squirrels and birds that live in the neighborhood. Our rabbits are small, quiet neighborly sorts and they find this a safe place to live; few predators seem to get to them. Same with the squirrels. Most of the squirrels keep their distance but the one who lives in the tree outside my window TV has had the temerity to scold me when I interrupt his nut collecting. Little does he realize how much luck my presence brings him!

There are several other cats who live around the courtyard, a large floofy calico and a small silver tabby named Smudge. Both are properly reserved, as befits a cat. However, there is a smart aleck little short-tailed black cat who does not get it. It has repeatedly pestered me and even followed me into the castle. I have some sympathy for it, it is a rescue cat like me, but it has gone past the point of irritating me at times. If only it would take a hint.

Ringo has been making is rounds and renewing many alliances. It is good to see him in action again; his whiskers fairly tremble with the excitement of each approaching day!

The Royal Chariot had a flat tire last week, and when the spare was put in place, it became flat as well. The PM has replaced the first tire, and must replace the other front tire. Then she must replace the spare. But Sir Errant Knight Honder has advised her how to proceed so as to maintain the financial stability of the Realm. He has been of invaluable assistance to the Prime Minister in recent months.

The PM also has enough money saved to pay off any charges left after her insurance pays what it will on her surgery. Another happy thing.

The redecorating of the castle continues and has discombobulated all of us at times, but the PM reassures me that she is making progress and I will be quite gratified with the results.

It is time for an event here in the realm. Must start planning and ordering my minions around.

Idea followup

The Mencat of Autumn, they could be of any color since they would be simply the partners, family and friends of the Ladies of Autumn......

An Idea or Two

I am, the Princess Treasure, a proud member of Tau Lambda Alpha aka The Ladies of Autumn. It is a very august little sorority and I am glad I have joined. There have been occasions where mancats have tried to join us through nefarious means. It appears that the gatekeepers have been successful in rooting them out so far.

Today, while conferring with the PM, it came to mind that perhaps the men need their own group, an auxiliary organization. What do people think about 'The Boys of Autumn', Tau Beta Alpha or 'The Mencat of Autumn', Tau Mu Alpha? I think some of them might enjoy that and they could do boy things like have secret pawshakes and mottos. I wonder what the rest of the group will think.

I am also thinking of giving a reception for the Admiral and Nikita to celebrate their recent nuptials. Perhaps they would renew their vows for us? And, of course, TLA, my court and defensive personnel as well as all allies would be invited to attend.

Promised Pics

Me on the luxurious mink blanket!

Kissy Shabbat! I am still finding trying to find out who leaked this picture to the media!

Finally!

The Prime Minister is beginning to understand my requirements as to my residence.

I think I have mentioned she is redecorating. Well, on Friday, she brought home a 'faux fur mink throw' for the couch. Kitties, it is luxury incarnate! I love to lay on its silky, furry surface. I think that was what it was like to snuggle up to my catmama years and years ago.

Also, she brought it from a boutique called Goodwill, so it came with many more interesting smells than thinks do from Target and Walmart. Added bonus!

I love my new blankie.

Peaceful Realm

Things have been relatively peaceful in the Realm lately. Elul and the High Holidays have done us all some good.

The PM and Ringo had a heart to heart; he was feeling frustrated as he was not doing the scouting which he is famous for. The Prime Minister recognizes his valuable contributes to the Realm and now SAS Ringo goes with her on her rounds again. He has a special hidey-hole in the new royal carriage where he stays most of the time. Ringo says it is very cozy and he likes being in the middle of the action.

When the PM was down after her surgery, we had many cuddles and conversations accompanied by the gentlest of kisses, purrs, pets and bonks so soft they really shouldn't be called bonks. We reconnected on a deep level. Now, while I still allow her to proceed with her redecorating and art, she makes sure we take plenty of time to cuddle. We had a 'kissy Shabbat' today and the PM got a pic of me during that time, but she left her camera at home. She will have to post it later.

We are still having lovely fall days. The door was open most of the day, but I didn't go out. Sat in the door like the Admiral does when she gets some whiffies. There was alot of foot traffic today.

We are all so glad to see the Admiral looking so frisky and it seems all our other friends and allies doing well, too. We are very happy about that. And, Sir Spitfire, your Human was right, the PM does not miss her gall bladder at all. Confusing to me, but if she feels better, that is all that counts.

Holidays

For those of us who are Jewish, this is a very special time of the year when we have a bunch of holidays one right after another.

First we had Rosh Hashana last week. Rosh HaShana is the birthday of the world! So that is fun!

Next comes Yom Kippur. That is the day of atonement and the day when G-d and the Ceiling Cat decide who will be written and sealed in the book of life for another year. Humans talk alot about the kinds of horrible things that can happen to you if you're not in the book of life, so that is kind of scary. But the time between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur is also the time when people try to make up with each other if they have had problems. So that is a good thing. (The PM says she knows she has not been here as much as she would have liked and been a bit lax on her duties, she apologizes to us all.)

Next is Sukkot, which is a harvest festival. People remember how, in biblical times, everyone would go live next to the harvest fields in little booths. They build similar booths now and have their meals there. If it is warm enough, some people sleep in them.

Then comes Simchat Torah, which means "Joys of Torah". This is another fun thing, as it celebrates finishing reading the Torah Scroll and starting over again. Some places will unroll the whole scroll to show how long it is. They also dance with the scroll and some people will have festive drinks.

So, as you can see, it is a very busy time of year for us. We hope all of you do something special, too, even if you are not Jewish.

Advanced Skritching

How many of you have humans that satisfactorialy skritch your chin or cheeks or wherever?

My PM has always been decent, but she has been learning some advanced maneuvers. Such as the under-the-chin scissors scritch. And the double-handed mirror image cheek scritch.

What is your human's best skritch?

The Admirable Admiral

is sick and at the V-E-T's. We are so sorry to hear that our beloved and faithful ally, Hestorb, is under the weather and has needed inpatient treatment. It is no fun and definitely undignified. We have paws, fingers and wings crossed for her here in the Realm and look forward to seeing her return to her sassy ways.

This and that

So, things are getting back to normal around here; the PM goes out and fundraises during the day and sometimes does something after work before coming home. She's been doing a lot of artwork, but laid off of it the last two nights as she was feeling tired from leg pain. She says the pain is going away, though. But, we did get in some good cuddles while she hurt and I know that helped her feel better.

Now, I cannot say that artmaking does not disturb my routine, but it makes the PM so happy that I make exceptions for this activity. What is more disturbing are her photography expeditions; this last time on Saturday, she ran out of gas and had to be 'rescued' by a sheriff's deputy, who helped her get more. The PM states she has learned her lesson about keeping the royal carriage filled with fuel because she has learned her lesson. I hope this is true.

The PM is also doing some redecoration and hopes to be able to get the castle better cleaned and organized. She saw a picture of a bunch of flowers on an old magazine cover; pink flowers with limes. She liked the colors so much and thought they would be a nice, cheerful way to brighten up mornings. She went shopping at Targe't last night and found a lime green shower curtain for $4, which she said is a great deal. She also bought some 'nifty' shower curtain hooks that are easy to get on the rod and will nicely separate the curtain liner from the curtain, helping the curtain stay nicer. She has the rest of her ideas firmly in mind.

She also got new bed pillows with pillow protectors and a comforter to make into a sofa cover/blankie for the living room. The comforter is rose. She had seen a color palette in an art magazine of rose, cream and brown. She liked the combo and has cream walls with varigated brown/beige carpet, so realized it would not take much to acheive this effect. Maybe a new area rug and then some accessories she makes herself and she says she will be a happy little camper.

I've learned that what makes her happy helps me feel happier, so I just kind of overlook all this and enjoy the result.

And, Spitty, yes, I do like my crackers plain; I eat melty cheese off pizza instead.

Admiral, I have a hard time commenting on your blog. The PM says she can only do that when the 'name/url' option is available and it is not on your post. However, I am glad it sounds like life is getting back to normal for you and your Mommeh. I am happy for you.

Mario, where have you been?

And to brighten our days...

a beautiful (if I say so myself) picture of me, eating a cracker.

Ooops! Or, Links Pt. 2

Thank you, Sir Spitfire, in reporting the PM's carelessness!

The link to her art blog is www.neorasgraciouslight.blogspot.com.

Please let me know if that works. I may have to take matter in paw.

Topsy turvy, inside out and upside down

That's how life has been feeling the past month or so; first the PM is tired and sick. Then she abandons me to have surgery. Then she is home every day. Almost too much. And exhausted me with nursing duties.

Well, now she feels better. Do I get any extra adoration? Does she pick up the reins of the kingdom? Noooooooooooooo....she goes on a photography expedition, gets lost and runs out of gas! How do you like that? Then after getting home late that day, she does laundry and grocery shopping the next day.

And tonight she is going to a meeting about forming a Jewish artist's group......hmmmmmmm........

Links

neorasgloriouslight.blogspot.com

theprayerflagproject.blogspot.com

Return to Fundraising

The PM went back to fundraising yesterday and while she was disappointed in some things that didn't get taken care of while she was gone, for the most part her clients and co-workers survived without her. She does not know if she should be relieved or worried that maybe the office can do without her. She is also lucky that, overall, she will only lose 2.5 hours of pay and still has several hour's vacation time. She will get more vacation time in November and sick time in January.

We both think it is good to be back in a routine, even if it's not the most exciting one on the face of the earth.

I want to thank everyone who thought of us during this time and wished us well. Admiral and Spitty, the cruise sounds wonderful.

And I love my bling on 'The Ladies of Autumn'!

If you like that kind of thing, you might enjoy seeing the PM's artwork on her new blog 'A Glorious Light' and at 'The Prayer Flag Project'.

slowly back to normal

The PM saw her surgeon yesterday and can return to work on Tuesday with no restrictions. She is happy about that because this episode may have cost her most, if not all, of her paid time off and she doesn't want to stress the treasury if she can.

Spitty, that was a very good idea and I did try to do that. Additionally, as the PM feels better, I have been able to resume more of my normal perambulations. I've been outside to check out the courtyard, for example, and have been catching up on my napping.

The PM has been doing some more artwork and, as soon as she replaces the battery in her camera, will start posting some of it to her new blog, 'Glorious Light', which will focus on that.

Need distractions

I need a nap and the mommeh needs distractions.......

a tired little nurse

recuperating

So the PM, aka "The Mommeh" is doing better.  She got in a lot of good sleeps on Saturday night and then all day and night on Sunday.  She still wakes up alot a odd times, but does not need constant supervision any more.  The 4 cuts on her belleh where they sucked out the gall bladder are healing and she does not have to stop herself from yelling if I accidentally land on that side of her stomach.

She is doing so much better that I gave her an unmutilated sparrow I found last night.  She actually got me some smelly goodness and took it out for 'burial' in the dumpster.

I had hoped to have another gala in September, as the Admiral suggested, but am afraid that the PM's medical leave may be too long to allow us to arrange that.  Perhaps someone else would be willing to coordinate an event?

My google account login is messed up, so I can't comment everywhere.  Daisy, your daisy straw hat is to die for!  Dante, what munificence you showed in ignoring the taunts! Mario, your heart is as big as ever!  Queen and Admiral, thank you deeply for your offers of assistance!  And, Spitty, you have more empathy than you let on, my loyal little knight!

Emergency! Emergency!

Two in one day!

Monday started like any other day, the PM went off to raise funds like she does.

She came home about the same time, but was very sick.  She said she had been to a human vet emergency room and had gall bladder problems.  She said she bomited in the car it was so bad!  She has to see a human vet about taking out a gall bladder, whatever that is.

Then she bomited again and called an ambulance.  They said I had to be in the bedroom.  I had water and my box there but no foods. 

PM finally came home on Wed evening and doesn't bomit anymore.  She was very worried about me.  But *I* opened the bedroom door and had foods.   

I am trying to lay on the purr therapies, but she says that it hurts too much when I lay on her tummie.  So that means she will recuperate slower than she would otherwise.  She gets tired easily but hurts too much to sleep enough sometimes.

Even though all that happened, she said she feels better than before seeing the vet for her gall bladder removal.

Woh!  I don't want any more emergencies.

Out of Commission pt 2

PM here; I was graceful enough on Monday afternoon to trip over a step about two inches high and fell flat out on the ground.  Bruised and stiff.  It was made worse yesterday when I had to drive an hour and a half each way to meet my brother and take care of transferring the title of the car he found for me.  A littlebit better today.  Thanks for the concern.  I've gotten a big dose of purr therapy tonight and Ringo is quite handy with the errands!

PM out of commission

The PM fell Monday and is very sore and bruised.  She has a hard time walking and sleeping due to the soreness.  But when she feels better, I will need to inform you about 'Bananamania'.

World Cat Day

My PM is so silly; she knows nothing about badges.  However, that does not mean we should ignore this special day!

My PM was well trained by my predecessor and knows that I dominate her world; or should.  She knows not to bring other cats around and that only very few humans can be admitted into my sanctuary.  She very often provides a great deal of lap time and shares some of her foods with me.  She provides catnip at almost every demand. 

I was rescued, so I know how lucky I am.  Many cats suffer from poor or no homes, hunger and other problems.  That could have been me.  So, I thank the people who rescued me and helped me connect with my PM, my human soul mate.

Sir Spitfire's Report

The Big Red Barn was aglow with the setting sun as the party assembled last evening—Sir Spitfire, Simba and Audrey, with The Admiral at the helm, set sail from BoraBora where they’d spent a relaxing day sipping Niptinis on the sandy beach and snacking on tropical sardines. They gladly detoured to collect HRH Princess Treasure and Princess Coco. The Admiral used all her considerable sailing skills to arrive at the BRB in record time. Once disembarked, the small but elegant company made their way immediately to the straw-strewn loft, to recline at their ease and catch up on one another’s latest news. The Admiral gave a status report on her Mommy’s injuries, and then both Princesses regaled the group with tales of the Royal Wedding they’d attended last April. The Admiral and Audrey were all agog to hear the glorious details, but Sir Spitfire and Simba took the opportunity for a brief nap in the warm straw. Soon the games were afoot. The entire party became aware that small creatures were darting through the straw. Simba and Spitty, gentlemen to the very core, hunted enough fresh mouse for several portions per party-goer. That, in addition to the fine picnic prepared and packed by The Princesses, made for an ample and satisfying repast. After dinner, Audrey (enjoying what Sir Spitfire believes to be her first Royal Party) and the Admiral sang a duet of “Cat’s Cradle” and then everykitty enjoyed a few frantic rounds of Hide & Seek in the barn. Finally, the frolic came to satisfying end as the group reformed for a brief purr and cuddle before The Admiral conveyed each guest to his or her residence. Everyone remarked how exciting it had been to escape the supervision of the Humans for an evening, and agreed that as soon as another suitable venue appeared, a repeat gathering should be arranged! Respectfully submitted, Spitty-the-Kitty

(Thank you, Sir Spitfire, for a job exceedingly well done!)

please check comments

for Sir Spitfire's great job reporting on last night's outing. The Pm will try to copy it into the library tomorrow for all to see

thank you everyone for the wonderful company and fine entertainments/repast.  HRH PT and PC

New Opportunity 2

Simba asked if the Admiral could provide transportation at least part of the way to the barn tomorrow night.  I welcome that, but as she is not my admiral, I cannot command her to do so.  It sounds as if she would be willing and We thank her for that.  Princess Coco has not had much practice teleporting and I have not done much myself in recent years, so we will appreciate the assistance.

We are also interested in seeing Sir Spitfire's coverage of the event.

New Opportunities

Spitty and Simba are right; if we can teleport, wo don't need humans.  Normally I want the PM there to take notes for PR and historical reasons, but this time, no.  We'll just do it ourselves.

So, I understand that dusk is a good time to hunt and commune with other critters as well as ourselves.  So, why don't we meet Thursday evening about 7:30?  Time to get together, say hi and then enjoy the entertainment. 

Sir Spitfire, can you write some notes afterwards?

Missed Opportunity

Boy, I can't believe the PM didn't follow up on Sir Spitfire's suggestion we all teleport to that interesting barn!  She wll need remediation and training....My apologies, Sir Spitfire.

An interesting (and big) barn

When the PM and Sir Ambassador Scout Ringo were on their expedition to renew our alliance with the cranes, they saw many interesting things.  One was this barn; the PM liked the roof and Ringo thought it would be great for a rest stop or safe house during intelligence gathering missions.

It looks even bigger from the other side:

I bet there's lots of nice nooks and crannies and little friends to play with.  Too bad you need to ride in an *automobile* to see it....

Other photos from the Moraine

Renewing an alliance

The PM and Sir Ambassador Scout Ringo formed an expedition today which resulted in this meeting with our beloved sandhill cranes.  They were able to renew our aliance with this ancient and noble bird.

Cat Appreciation Day

I actually received my sign of appreciation last night when, lo and behold, the PM made the weather inside the Royal Suite go from uberhot and uberstuffy to cool and comfy.  It seemed like a miracle to me.  She states she 'played with the circuit box and flipped the right circuit on' to 'make the a/c work'.  I don't care what any of that means;  I just know that it is so much more comfortable right now that I don't even want to go outside!

A Wondrous Day

Today is a day that will be remembered throughout the history of the Realm.

The PM has struggled with fund raising for the Realm for many years and it had become quite a stressful, anxiety-filled experience for her.  The situation has become worse and worse and worse over time.  I think she was getting scared at times that she would not be able to take care of Me.

However, over the past month, Knight Errant Sir Honder and his damsel, the Lady Jenn, have been helping the PM by taking temporary control of financial managment/fund-raising.  They have already helped quite a bit and will be continuing to help the PM for a while longer.

The PM has been very happy and increasingly relaxed.  Yesterday, the most important thing happened when they helped her find a replacement automobile with which to conduct business.  It costs less than the old automobile and will cost less to run as well.  She likes it a lot.  She says it is 'fully loaded, with a sunroof and remote starter'. 

She is also feeling better because she has again been able to sleep better with the help of a machine she has not been using recently.

So we are celebrating in the Realm today; runners with Mouse Pops will be sent to all allies and citizens.

And, Admiral and Crew, thank you for the lovely ride you provided to Princess Coco and myself.  It was a beautiful night to be on the river.

--Princess Treasure

Final Firefly Count

The results are finally in!  Such a close hunt, it took Buddy Bunny and his team quite a while to ensure all entries were accurately recorded and results tallied.

Tied for first place are Dante and Sir Spitfire with 22 fireflies each.  Congratulations!

Second place went to Admiral Hestorb with 19, third place was Simba with 18.  Rumor has it he  may have done better had he not been distracted by the alluring presence of the Queen Miss Catt.

A special award for Most Creative Use of Fireflies was awarded to Daisy, who fashioned tiaras for the ladies.

Congratulations to everyone and thank you for a memorable evening!

Blinky Peppertoes,
Public Relations
Realm of Capitol Drive

Talent Show

After a wonderful picnic full of treats and delights continuously provided by the chef and his staff, a short nap was in order. Admiral Hestorb and Sir Spitfire groomed furs, Simba and Queen Miss Catt delicately shared nosetaps while being chaperoned by Audrey.  Dante and Daisy joined Princesses Coco and Treasure while Mario and Harley scampered about touring the courtyard chasing interesting scents.

Finally HRH gave the signal for the show to begin and Harley bounded to the stage to kick off the show.  His opening dialogue included ironic political satire about weiners and buns and humorous commentary on training gerbils.  Sir Spitfire offered a magic trick that dazzled the eyes; all eyewitness account differ as to what happened and it is hoped he may provide a slow-motion or written account of what he did and possible an explanation of the trick to see if others can replicate it.  Princess Coco danced a solo figure 8 minuet choreographed by the famous Diva Dina.  Mario and Daisy serenaded the audience with the ever-popular 'Nip for Two' followed by 'My Blanky tis to Me'. 

Simba could not be torn from Queen Miss Catt's side during this time, exhibiting the gallantry for which he has become so well-known.  Dante, representing Canada, remained by Princess Treasure's side in a diplomatic manner.

Details and results of the firefly count to be announced tomorrow.

Picnic Tonight!

This is Frannie Floof interviewing Princess Coco the Most Adorable about Capital Drive's festivities tonight.  Princess, how are all the guests coming to the picnic?

PC:  Most of us came by Heron Express, my favorite naturally, since they provided my transportation for the adoption ceremony. 
I came with Admiral Hestorb, her human, and Queen Miss Catt.  Simba, Audrey, Daisy and Harley came together.  Sir Spitfire has called to tell us he had a slight delay in takeoff but expects to be here momentarily.  Mario took the Heron taxi here as he lives fairly close.  Dante caught the Express and is just coming into sight....his landing will be very soon.

FF:  And what is on the schedule for tonight?

PC:  The picnic is first.  Princess Treasure is serving the mouse tarts with sausage gravy she is famous for along with hummingbird pickles and catnip tarts.  Sir Spitfire is bringing Gerbers and half-and-half.  Sweet pea salad will also be provided, one of Treasure's favorites.  Then we will have the talent show; Harley has agreed to emcee that.  Sir Spitfire has prepared a magic act.   I am going to do a solo figure 8 minuet.  Mario is going to seranade us with "Nip for Two".    We are unsure what the rest will do.  After that is the firefly count with the Tuna Can trophy going to the feline earning the highest points.   Buddy Bunny has agreed to tally the catches and declare the winner.

FF:  And is the talent show a competition?

PC:  No, not this time. The tournament provides adequate competition in regards to skills.  And there is the firefly count to satisfy the need to become alpha cat.

FF:  It looks like Dante has arrived.

PC:  Isn't he regal?  And a fine ambassador from Canada.  And there is Sir Spitfire dropping off his bag of goodies at the picnic table;  the guests are starting to line up already, as Treasure is known for her hospitality.

FF:  I understand that Admiral Hestorb's human came with her tonight, which is highly unusual.

PC:  Yes, she has been having a difficult time of it.  It was thought that the chance to visit with PM Neora and observe the festivities would brighten her day, as well as give the Admiral the night off.  Oh, look!  Simba has found his way to Queen Miss Catt and they are exchanging nose taps; he is also introducing his sister Audrey to her.  And the Queen has invited them to sit with her! 

FF:  Princess, thank you for your word.  We'll recap the talent show in  a short time./

Picnic

How about a picnic Wednesday night after the American Humans are done celebrating whatever it is that they will be celebrating?

We'll have the picnic at 5, the talent show after that and then a nice firefly count to top off the evening.

Heron Express will pick up whoever needs a ride--including you, Admiral, if you wish.

I want to make some more friends.  So I hope that in addition to the regulars, that Dante and Mr. Puddy will come.  Also, Simba, will you invite Audrey?  I also hope that Daisy and Harley will.  Maybe Harley could be the court jester/emcee for the night?  All the regulars are free to invite others; the more, more the merrier

I'm Bored!

As you can see from the above picture, I need a diversion.  So, how about I have Heron Express pick up everyone and bring them to the Realm for a picnic?  Invite friends, invite family.......maybe we'll have a talent show?

What can I say?

So far the PM is having a stressful yet boring summer; a killer combination for her.  On the plus side she has started doing some artwork again and she has been so bored, she has actually been cleaning and re-organizing.  This has included loading about 2000 pics onto her computer and editing out the bad ones, organizing art supplies, making some substrate for collage or other artwork.  It means, though, that she is also too restless to cuddle.

 I am hoping this will settle down soon.  The cuddles we have are good and she's been letting me out so survey the royal courtyard again.  (She actually believed me when I promised to stop playing with the peons like chipmunks==MOL!)  She's also been  bringing me more treats like lemon yogurt tonight and there might be a jar of Gerber's somewhere.

It looks like others are having exciting summers comparatively and I am glad for you all--that is, excepting the Admiral and her mom.  We send them prayers and purrs every day.

Ciao for now....

Unexpected weekend company

I surprised the PM on Friday evening when I brought home weekend company; a little chipmunk I had been playing with in the royal courtyard.  I carried it in just as I would have carried a kitten and, when I let it go, we proceeded to play tag.

The PM did not enjoy watching our game.  I guess chipmunk tag is not a human thing.  In fact, several times over the weekend, when we went to play, the PM would shut me off in the bed and bathroom area while she tried to help the chipmunk get outside.  Finally on Sunday afternoon, it got out.  She has heard no more squeaks or found any evidence to the contrary.

But will she?

Almost enough cuddling?

When the PM got home last night (about an hour earlier than she can expect to), she thought she would take a short nap and then go swimming.  But, MOL, the fates had other things in mind for her.

Her nap lasted until 9:30, so it was too late to go swimming.  We cuddled during the nap and while she watched tv and when she went back to bed.  It was raining, so instead of making my morning tour, we cuddled some more. 

From 3:30 pm to 7:45am.  Almost enough cuddle time.

Summertime

It looks like we are finally having summertime in our neck of the woods; or at least it did yesterday.  Today and tomorrow will be in the 90s, but then Thursday and Friday are supposed to be in the 50s or 60s.  It's very confusing.  The PM is unsure if it's time to pack up her warm clothing.  She finally turned off the heater last night.

The programming is better on the bird and squirrel channels, which is one nice thing about the warm weather. 

Outside of my morning circuit around the courtyard, I have been taking it easy.  This is a good time of year to do it; many vacations going on, so diplomatic efforts are limited.  I am planning another soiree in the near future and want to make sure that everyone--that includes you, Admiral--know they are welcome.  In fact, bring a friend! 

If anyone thinks we are being a snob, don't worry, we're not.  It's just that the PM is having extreme difficulties with commenting.  So, Spitty, no, you are not booleeemick; humans just don't realize the benefit of purifying the internal systems.  As obsessive as they are about external purification, you think they would learn from our example.

Admiral, we are so happy you are gaining weight and feeling more frisky. 

Mario, I am sure Lille will remember forever the love you showed to him before he left for Alaska.

Simba, do you want me to set you up with Miss Catt?  Just because I'm a virgin princess, that doesn't mean no one else can have fun....

And Daisy!  Your pretty hat!  what a wonder to behold!

Lazy Weekend

I am having a very lazy weekend and the PM has been pretty good about keeping up with me, although she keeps muttering about lysol and bleach.....

Tripping around the blogs

I have been daytripping around all the bloggies, but not always being allowed to comment:

-Admiral, the PM will set out the milk tomorrow night after the brothers are gone....
-Simba, life is better with the humans around!  Did the PM ever tell you she used to have a shorthair ginger tom?
-Spitty, I think you are a softie underneath it all!
-Mario, any plans for the holidays? 
-Dante, I'm glad you got to enjoy your Grandpaw's birthday with him.  Did you help him blow out the candles?
-Here's hoping Harley won't have to wear Daisy's dress!

Yesterday

Yesterday was my day to be under the weather.  I think I am doing better, I know the PM was very worried yesterday, but she did not seem quite as worried today.  I think it was just a bad morning and hope she will see that, too.

It got very cold here last night, PM said it was because of bad weather in Missouri.  I hope all the kitties and humans are OK.  PM says many or not, but we will keep the claws crossed that they don't find any more hurt or dead.

PM has 'state auditors' coming to work tomorrow to interview her and a nurse about one of her clients.  She is a little nervous because she has not been interviewed for an audit here before.   She had a practice yesterday.

All in all, we're kind of tied up right now and hope thing settle down over the long weekend.  We will be checking with all of you soon.

This and That--another diary entry.

The Prime Minister is almost over whatever was ailing her; very few coughs anymore and she went swimming today. She took a new dress to change into and had to breeze through the house quickly after swimming to change from a shrug over it to a cami under it due to the way the bodice is.  (The PM does not like to try clothes on in the store, so she sometimes does not know exactly how things will go together the first time she wears them.)

We have been having warmer weather and alot of trees are blossoming, which is part of why the PM has been sick.  It also means that the birdies are out singing alot more often, so TV is much better.  It also means that I can go make my morning inspection of the courtyard much more often.  The PM likes how I smell after being outdoors, although she wishes I would purge grass outside rather than coming in first.  She says it's 'icky'.  The PM is such a girly-girl sometimes; 'icky'--how funny.  I think she is that way at home because she has to be tough at work alot.  And in managing the Realm.

Next week she gets an extra day off and that is right around my 13th birthday.  I was about 3 months old when we met in August that year.  So she tries to use Memorial Day to remind her about my big day.  We will see how she plans to celebrate.  Frankly, a bit of chicken or some beef would be enough, along with some extra time outside.

Here's hoping everyone had a good weekend; now let's get over to Simba's and get sailing!

Thinking Deep Thoughts

My PM is under the weather.

My beloved PM is under the weather; the stress of recent events (as well as allergy season) is catching up with her.

Between being pooped on by pigeons, being kicked in the head at the swimming pool and close encounters with woofies, she ended up feeling so bad that she came home after her first appointment of the day yesterday.  She read and napped on the couch and I cuddled with her alot.  She felt enough better that she went to work today.

But she is threatening to relapse.  When she got to work, one of her shoes had ripped open at the sole and it turned out her skirt had pigeon poop on it from last week.  Luckily she did not have to see clients today!  MOL!

My PM has tough times occasionally between her health problems and job stress.  This is one of them.  So, if she does not blog as often, please understand.  She is taking care of me first.

The world spins out of control!

I am very worried about the PM and some recent events.

On Wednesday, she was caught in a bird-poop backsplash with it landing on her hand.  She thought she had otherwise escaped, only to be told later, there was a big spot of it on her new little shrug she was wearing.  She is still traumatized by this, saying she can't get over feeling dirty.

Later, she went to a small woods that she has been going to for many years.  Dogs are allowed there, but they are supposed to be on leashes and this used to be true.  However, this time, they were all *off leashes*!  And some of them were wet and muddy!  And two of them ran up, almost onto, the PM!

Four of them even had a conference off-leash with all their humans!

When the PM politely pointed out the signs saying dogs must be leashed, the humans laughed at her!

(pacing in anger)

Princess Treasure, accompanied by SAS Ringo

World Events

The Prime Minister and I have been consulting about recent world events.  There are many irrational things about the human world I do not understand.

The royal wedding, for instance.  It was lovely as such things go.  I liked the dress the new Duchess wore.  It was elegant and modest, necessary qualities in royal dress.  It also sounds as if the lace was full of symbols with a lot of meaning in regards to her new position as Princess and one-day Queen.

I guess many human beans think that mating is for life and this is why they can get all swoony and make such a big fuss about the 'first time'.  We in the cat world do not understand this.  We understand that desires come upon those us who have not experienced The Traumatic Event and that such desires can be sated, but we do not fool ourselves that mating lasts for life.  Many humans seem to get hurt when they realize this is true.  It hurts them and their kits.

But it took a long time for the PM to understand my point of view and I don't know if many other humans will.

The other big event was the assassination of Osama bin Laden.  This has been very puzzling for me; first of all, any good cat queen would not have let him live as soon as she realized something was wrong with him.  When he became a terrorist, any good cat would have put him down as quickly as possible.  We understand that some are born not right and cannot be allowed to live.  I admired President Obama's take on this; bin Laden was evil and needed to be taken care of.  When the occasion arose, the President gave the order and the job was done.  Justice was served.

Some humans say that he was wrong; there should have been a trial, he should have had to face his victim's family, he could have been jailed.  The fact is, is that he was more of a danger to this world, kitties included, alive than dead.   With all the technology humans have invented, there was still no way to sequester bin Laden.   Get over it; President Obama and his men acted like cats, more power to them.

The PM says she agrees that he could not be sequestered and still wishes that the assassination was not necessary.  I guess humans and kitties will never completely understand each other, but  I still love her.

Social Hour

Fannie Floof reporting, still red-faced at last night's equipment malfunction.

After the Realm's Security Council meeting a social hour was held in the Princess Treasure's private drawing room.  Princess Treasure warmly greeted each visitor with a nose tap and a head bonk for Princess Coco and was later escorted to the throne by Simba and Mario. 

Princess Coco served tea while The Admiral and Sir Spitfire were honored with the duty of passing the catnip tarts and hummingbird's tongues respectively; it was noticed that not a few tongues disappeared beneath the Spitfire's cape.

Entertainment was provided by Sonny, lead singer for The Serenaders; it appears 'Nip for Two' may well become the new national anthem.

The PM kept Miss Catt distracted while Simba helped escort Princess Treasure to the throne. 

After refreshments were finished, the figure 8 minuet was enjoyed by all; the dance is based on the movements used by cats to get a human's attention by twisting around said human's legs.  Princess Coco displayed an especially fine tail tip during the dance. 

General Boopsie Bear and Quartermaster Scruffy demonstrated a sailor's jig with the Admiral.  The Prime Minister recited the Stray Cat's Prayer, bring tears to many an eye.

Goof

Ooooops!  Fannie Floof here to apologize for the delay in reporting the reception held after the security council meeting; her computer ran out of juice.  More later....

Security Council, Spring 2011

Dear Princesses Treasure and Coco, PM Neora, General Boopsie Bear, and Sir Spitfire,

Welcome to this quarterly meeting of the Security Council, especially to our new members.

Our main item of business today is to review the threat of Doggie Dinners to go that has sprung up in Sir Spitfire's territory.

Sir Spitfire will submit a summary of his report in the comments to be attached to these minutes of the meeting.  In general, some nefarious dogs have managed to further enroll humans in their plot to rebel.  What more specifically they plan to do I will leave to him.

Our question today is what we should do at this point.

(A general discussion is held.)

A motion has been made by Princess Coco the Adorable to enlist the Buddy Bunny network to supplement Sir Spitfire's work by having them gather intelligence in other urban areas so attractive to  dogs.  It is seconded by General Boopsie Bear.  The measure passes unanimously.

Let us adjourn to the social hour, next regularly scheduled meeting to be held in July.

Sunshine today

Which helps the PM feel alot better; her fundraising activities make her leave the house almost every day, so sunshine is always something worth smiling about.

And, she saw tulips blossoming and the forsythia blooming and buds on lots of trees, so she thinks--hopes--that maybe we will have spring and not have to hallucinate one.

She was the first one to finish the test and got a 93%; the top score was a 95%, but she did the test in half the time....so ha-ha!  She got an extra break yesterday.

All of which means I got a lots more pets last night and this morning.  Yay!

The Security Council will be meeting Sunday.  Both Coco and Spitty will teleport in for the meeting.  It will be good to see them again.  Coco has been reviewing the information provided to us by the Security Council and caught quickly onto the diplomatic and intelligence conundrums.  Anyone else want to come for the declassified catnip snack and klatch afterwards?

Too Blah to Post

We are all down in the dumps here for several reasons. 

1.  It keeps staying cold and raining and sleeting.
2.  There is road construction going on outside the courtyard and I can feel the vibrations from heavy machinery pounding.
3.  As part of her fundraising, the PM had to take a competency exam at work....no, not to prove her brain worked, but to show she knew how to do her job.

So we are not happy campers, but things will be better soon.

We did get a message from Princess Coco the Adorable and we hope to feel up to sharing it soon.

From Kim on Facebook

Stray Cat

Dear God, please send me somebody who'll care.
I'm so tired of running and sick with despair.
My body is aching and filled with such pain;
...And dear God I pray, as I run in the rain
That someone will love me and give me a home,
A warm cozy bed, and food of my own.
My last owner left me alone in the yard...
I watched as they moved, and God that was hard.
So I waited a while, then went on my way
To rummage in garbage and live as a stray.
But now, God, I'm so tired and hungry and cold;
And I'm so afraid that I'll never grow old.
They've chased me with sticks and hit me with straps
While I run the streets just looking for scraps.
I'm not really bad, God, please help if you can,
For I have become just a "Victim of Man."
I'm wormy, dear God, and I'm ridden with fleas;
And all that I want is an Owner to please.
If you find one for me, God, I'll try to be good.
I won't scratch the carpet; I'll do as I should.
I'll love them, play with them, and try to obey.
I will be so grateful if they'll let me stay.
I don't think I'll make it too long on my own,
'Cause I'm getting weak and I'm so all alone.
Each night as I sleep in the bushes I cry,
'Cause I'm so afraid, God, that I'm gonna die.
I've got so much love and devotion to give
That I should be given a new chance to Live.
So dear God, please hear me, please answer my prayer,
And send me somebody who will REALLY care.

Author Unknown

Archive 6.5: A Royal Proclamation

Posted on July 5, 2009 by ember850

Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!

 

Let it be known to all that

 

HRH Princess Treasure of Capitol Drive

 

offers her deepest condolences to

 

Citizen Regina

 

upon the loss of her kittens, most especially,

 

TIGER.

 

Tiger fought a most valiant fight to survive,

 

such fight to be recorded in the

 

Royal History.

 

Let Tiger’s life be

 

an example to us all.

Archive 16: Sad

HRH got out last night when I came home and has not been back yet as of 8am when I left for work.

Archive 15: A PM’s disgusting discovery

It was a Sunday, late morning.  Our long-suffering PM has decided to try to do some picking up around the main living area.  She works at a steady pace for several hours.  She begins working near the dining room table; now, understand, the PM has the bad habit of dropping things on the end of the table or on the floor near it.  She also tends to kick her shoes off there, drop her coat here, etc.  It is the major drop point on the way in and out of the home. 

 

As she works picking up some papers fallen on the floor, she falls back with a gasp.  What has she uncovered?  Apparently the Princess had an unwelcome, much enjoyed playmate over recently.  Yes, a little mouse, Cedric, must be added to the roll of the gullible.  Fortunately, Paws’ Daddy was willing and able to provide Cedric with an appropriate funeral in the dumpster. 

 

Due to intricacies in Felinese,t he Princess in confused by the PM’s reaction.  You see, the work ‘disgusting’ translates to ‘delightful’ in Felinese.  The Princess would love to have many little gullible playmates……after all, a PM lives to serve, right?

Archive 7.5: Needed updates to the council

Dear Compatriots:
It has been a long time since we have met; the forces around us have caused meetings to be too risky. It is good to see all of you again.
Another dog has been added to the household downstairs. It is a ‘sweet puppy’ now, but its people plan to breed it, which can only cause turmoil for our loyal citizenry. As it is, the most loyal and faithful of our denizens (known as the yard cats) have lengthened the time between reports.
Not another word or report of Regina has come in; it seems she must be added to the roll of those who have given all for the sake of the princess.
I am sorry to report that recent health conditions, and treatment of same, have required me to be absent more than is best for the kingdom. Hopefully, with the treatments, I will be able to resume my duties soon. Please accept my heartfelt appreciation of all your efforts to fill my absense. The kingdom could not be in better hands.
In attempting to think of gifts to amuse HRH, a birdfeeder has frequently been suggested, but the danger of opening ourselves up to attack has been enough to outweigh the entertainment value. General Boopsie Bear has reported on the efficacy of the ‘Yankee Spinner’ and it may be that this would meet both demands for entertainment and security. Much thanks to the General for his report and for the gracious Queen Miss Katt for allowing this report.
Scout Ringo has recently returned from his travels in time to settle in with the rest of the kingdom for the winter months and has promised not only reconnaisance reports, but a fine new collection of adventure stories with which to entertain the members of the royal household. Her interest has been piqued and we look forward to wintry fun.
I myself have discovered the benefits of sitting in an armchair with ottoman vs lying on couch and, in her beneficent manner, Princess Treasure has willingly adapted to the change. She notes the advantage of being able to walk on the back of the chair, rubbing up against the PMs head and being able to choose from a wider variety of positions when resting.
Until our next meeting, I remain,
PM Neora Warmlapp

Archive 7.4: Intelligence gathered.

Dear Princess Treasure, PM Neora and members of the Security Council:

 

Per your request received today via UPS (Upwind Perigrine Sails), I am relaying a progress report on my tour.

 

At the conclusion of our summit with Sir George and Lady Scamper, they volunteered a tortoise advisor to provide a tour of the land.  This has been most intriguing; due to his age and deep contemplation of the events he has witnessed, he has provided insight into the historical background of many current issues.  It has also been most restful as Monsieur Shelly travels at a leisurely pace.  Since he carries a trailer with him, I have been able to lighten my pack considerably.  Sir G and Lady S provided a letter of introduction, so I have met many individuals from different species in desert areas that have taught me many new ways of coping with heat and drought.  I believe that if the information gathered is shared with the populace of Capitol Drive, the citizenry will make good use of it.

 

Monsieur Shelly congratulated HRH’s generosity while celebrating the summit on July 24th.  News of the  mousepops, and effective distribution of same, quickly travelled to Utah.  He believes this is unequalled in the Utah and other nearby territories and that HRH will set a new standard of royal beneficence.

 

I was deeply saddened to learn of Regina’s abduction.  I had hoped she had eloped with Agent Blackjack and would therefore produce a healthy heir.  However, all news received by Bunny Buddy and his corp of hired mercenaries indicate that the Evil Dogs next door convinced their human companion that she was deliberately taunting them when she was on patrol.  This is a sad loss as she was close to the Princess’ heart.

 

I look forward to sharing notes with Gen’l Boopsie Bear when he returns from the victory celebrations in Queen Miss Katt’s realm.

 

I remain, as always, your faithful servant,

 

Ambassador and Scout Ringo

Archive 14: Notes on the Precious Dynasty

HRH is a member of the Precious Dynasty, renowned since the time of the Pyramids for their wise and just ways in ruling those under their dominion.

 

The first member of the dynasty, King Green Gem, was named so due to the brilliant color of His eyes, resembling a peridot.  He rose to the throne by leading the cats in His block to defend their territory against invaders from Siam.  Due to His military canny and ability to lead, the defense was successful and the Siamese retreated to their traditional land.  King Green Gem was companioned by his Prime Minister and valet, Tutenros.

 

Tutenros would continue in this role through the next five ascensions to the throne.  During this time, the territory was increased and the species citizens continued to swear loyalty oaths to the throne.  Inter-species relations were fostered with the Horse citzenry and the Crane denizens.

 

It was during the Dog revolt during the third ascension (Queen Precious Blue) that the eternal dispute between the dog and cat species began.  The revolt was headed by Mr. Toto, an ambassador trusted by Queen as a royal liason.  While the Precious Dynasty prevailed, diplomatic relations were severed and have not been re-established to the present day.

Archive 7.3: Via Antelope Express

A scrawled report from Scout Ringo:

 

To:  princez Tresur

 

yer hiness,

 

it is wit gret reliefe I send you this message. 

 

My understanding is the carrier buddi bunny sent you a report sez I was runing edge of happylandz.  This is true.  When I getz to de end, there is huge grassy place, called a prairie.  Dere is a path of daizees and it seemd good idea to follow it.   After middle day, I feelz shadow on me and look up.  It was a hawk, a gigantious hawk .  I admitz I scared.  Widout a den or hidey-hole I freeze.  I stay freezed till sunset last night. 

 

Finly I move.  i start on daizee path agin.  I see chipmunk who excape hawk.  It says I lucky ‘cuz usually hawk don’t miss big target like me.  Chipmunk gives me water and nutz and directions for shortcut to happenstanc. 

 

I just arrived happenstance; I admit I lost a ring on my tail from scare.  First thing I do is write you.  Den I talk to Teddi.  he seems nice chap.   He tell me I not too far from Utah.  So hopefully mission not delayed.  Still hope to arrive on 23 and have sumit on 24th. 

 

Is too bad I loze fancy meeting suit on way. 

 

Your loyal scout,

 

Ringo

Archive 7.2: Updates

The Boopsie Patrol:

 

It appears, from correspondence received from PM Carol Cattservant, that Gen. Boopsie Bear is leading the guerilla warriors to brilliantly assist Queen Miss Catt’s forces to a victory against the ALF.  It is hoped that this victory will demonstrate to the AU the need for negotiations and mutual respect.  After a tickerberry parade, General Boopsie Bear will be awarded his fifth walnut, the highest rank in the Capitol Drive Realm.  Princess Treasure is indeed gratified.

 

She also awards Agent BlackJack the Silver Lion’s Paw for his sage advice and consultations of a fortnight ago.  This is the highest award in the Realm of Capitol Drive to be given to a cat not of the realm.  The award is accompanied by 25 filleted minnows, prepared lovingly by citizen Regina (wethinks perhaps Regina is taken with Agent Blackjack). Private First Cat Bougaloo has volunteered to deliver the award, perhaps with the intent of settling who wil be Regina’s partner.

 

Diplomat Scout Ringo:

 

Buddy Bunny, freelance scout and messenger currently on the payroll of the Capitol Drive Diplomatic Corp,  reports that Scout Ringo was given a ride across a great water by a blue heron.  After consulting with a member of the FumbleThumb clan of raccoons, who graciously shared his overnight accomodations in a tree trunk, Scout Ringo washed some berries for his rations. At last report, Ringo has run the fence along the perimeter of Happylands and is due to arrive in the Land of Happenstance in approximately 18 hours, if there are no setbacks.

Archive 2.5: Update to the Security Council by PM Neora

Fellow Council Members:

 

You may remember Princess Treasure’s recent authorization granted to her worthy diplomat and Scout, Ringo.  She wishes him to go to Utah and treaty with Sir George and Lady Scamper.

 

I have been working with HRH and Ringo to prepare for the trip.  The treaty must be written up for him to take.  We need to locate the royal ambassadorial uniform and find luggage for Ringo.  The journey must be plotted and he must learn  the route.

 

Most of all, he needs to learn survival skills.  We were on a training expedition and he was unaware of the danger awaiting him: rivers to ford, transportation to catch, predators to deter. 

 

As we know,  impetuousness and the willingness to form relations with other sovereigns are among HRH Princess Treasure’s charm.  But they may cost us one of her more loyal and productive citizens.

 

As always, we took the Veil of Secrecy upon arrival and discussion of meeting b usiness may be met with the most severe of penalties.

 

Prime Minister Neora

Archive 13: The Hinterlands, part 3

Those calls scared me; for some reason the fur on on the back of my neck stood up.  Maybe it would have been different in the Kingdom here, where I know the places and people (being a scout).  But all alone in a new place at night is different.

 

I remember Marge and Teddy warning me about wolves and how they like to eat raccoons.  They had tried to make wolf howls for me and this sounded alot like them.  They had also given me stuff to make me smell different and make it easier to hide. I got some out of my pack and used it.    The rock I was on had a flat side and a slanted-up side. I slowly crawled up the slanted side and looked over the edge.  A long way away, I could see animals alot like the despised dogs howling and snuffling around.  They looked confused.  I hoped it was because the stuff was working and they didn’t know where I was.  I slid back down and thought about what to do.  It did not look as if they were in a hurry to leave. 

 

Then I remember something Agent Blackjack said.  He commented that dogs are scared of fire and will run from it.  I hadn’t had a chance to try it with a dog in the Kingdom, but thought it was worth a try.  I made a small fire on the flat side of the walk and gradually added some bigger sticks.    When it was going well, I took one of the sticks, crawled up the slanty side again and threw it as far as I could.  It worked!  The wolves ran away.

 

And that’s how I didn’t get eaten by wolves.

Archive 12: The Hinterlands, part 2

After my rest and rconnasance with Marge and Teddy in Happenstance, I set out one night, just as they said I should.  They said if I travelled by night, I would not get as thirsty and my water would last longer.  Also, any gigantuous hawks in the desert only hunt by day.  Sand is hard to walk in, harder than snow because it weighs more.  I wished someone had invented sandshoes!

 

After walking a couple of hours, I found a rock to climb on to take a break.  I could see a very long way and things looked pretty quiet.  There were stars and a bright moon overhead.  There were no birds of any kind.  Every once in while, I heard something clittering through the sand and knew a dreaded scorpion with its shell had passed by.  Shhhh sounds were snakes.    I wondered where other furry creatures were, thinking it would be nice to see something that looked familiar.  About that time I heard a sound from far away:  ooooooooooowwwllllllllll, oooooooooooowwwwwwwwwlllllllll. 

 

To be continued…

Archive 11: The Hinterlands, a story by Ringo, Part 1

Between and ‘twixt Utah and Happenstance is a place called The Hinterlands.  If you thought I said ‘winterland’, you’re close, because the only difference between the winterlands and the hinterlands is the temperature.  Both places are bare, with no leafy trees or green grasses.  The creatures we know, squirrels and birds, cats and dogs, are not found above ground or outdoors in these places.  Food is hard to find.

 

But what makes The Hinterlands worse is that it is very hot.  And the hot never stops.  With the winterland, you can melt snow for water and you know things will warm up.  In the hinterlands, it’s always hot and there is stuff called ‘sand’ instead of water.  You can’t drink sand.

 

In the hinterlands, all you see is dust, as far as you can see.  B’cause there are no trees, it’s hard to find shade during the daytime.  Rocks have shadows and so do the prickly-barked people shaped plants called cactuses. They have big thorns longer than Princess Treasure’s tail and a tough green skin like a dinosaur.  It is hard to climb them, so it is hard to get away from the native population, which includes snakes, scorpions and spiders.  All of these can kill you with one bite!  Chomp!  Like that!  If you gets bit, you puff up and turn black!  then you don’t talk no more.

 

Agent Blackjack and General Boopsie Bear had heard of the hinterlands, but they thoughts it was a legend.  Buddy Bunny and Teddy and Marge warned me that they were real.  Buddy Bunny offered to take me, but he wanted all the marsh hay I had for Princess Scamper and Sir George.  Teddy offered to escort me, but Marge needed him, so I said it was OK, I could go alone.  They gave me a map and lots of advice and equipments for hot weather.

 

To be continued….

Archive 8.5: Been a while; excerpt from the Princess' diary

The Prime Minister continues to work on my new castle in order to make it as comfortable and functional as possible.  She believes she is just about done with the living room (where my throne is kept) and can soon move to the bedroom.  One advantage of the throne room is that I can closely monitor the flock of birds that frequent several bushes outside my window. Also, the PM continues to keep my throne close to her chair so I can summon her at a moment’s notice.

 

The bedroom remains a mess; she has clothes all over the place.  It was also like this at the last place, but since this castle is substantially smaller than the last, it is more important that she keep it orderly.  She states a friend at work has offered to help her for a couple of hours one Sunday when the PM is ready.  The friend apparently has more skills in organization that the PM.

 

Scout Ringo was assisted in finding the new castle by Knight Errant Sir Honder.  Ringo had passed through the Queen Bea’s monarchy between the Realm of Capitol Drive and Happylands.  He had already assured himself this could be an appropriate neighborhood in which to establish My court and Sir Honder assisted in the final selection of the castle.  Due to his assistance, the move went relatively smoothly and efficiently.

 

PM Neora finds all this increasing her fibromyalgia symptoms, resulting in a new pattern of sleeping almost all day on Saturdays. 

 

Neora has finally understood my request for a new diet and has switched from Purina One Indoor formual to IAMS mature dry.  She also switched from Fancy Feast canned to IAMS canned.  I expect for this regime to further enhance my innate beauty. 

Archive 3.5: The Incident involving the Elmo

Dear Princess Treasure, Prime Minister and Members of the Council,

 

I am here to report the results of my inquiries into the discovery of Elmo last week.  As you may remember, while the PM and I were on our rounds a week ago, we noted a small elmo on the edge of the freeway.  It was hoped this was nothing more than a representation of this most ingenue and innocent of children’s friends. 

 

Upon contactng my liason at Sesame Street I was able to learn that elmo had been missing for two days prior to my discovery.  He had gone to visit a small friend and admirer, however he had not come home by the time he specified.  The trip log only showed that he was going to visit someone who signed in with a green ‘x’.

 

Further research demonstrated that his itinerary included the Babblebrook Field.  UPS staff members were hired to locate him but were unsuccessful.

 

Finally, I reccoinoitered and traced his trail to the Toys r Us emergency ward where he had been rushed by ambulance to have an arm restuffed and an eye replaced.  He will return to Sesame Street for light duty only after recuperation.

 

I hope all present are satisfied that the above matter may be considered closed.

Archive 0.5: Ringo Raps

I keep on meandering with Neora.  Don’t know why I stick around.

 

Ran away to join the circus cuz people said I was good at acrobatics back when I was a kit.  My mom taught me how to keep clean and wash things and grass helped with that.  I ended up in a place with no creeks and little grass.  It’s hard to stay clean in a dusty, dirty environment,  so I got used to it.  Forgot how it was when I was little.

 

I kept looking for the circus and I saw it advertised, but never made it there before they had packed up and moved on.  Tried to keep on exercising, but sometimes I’d be too hungry or tired from trying to find food to do it.  Because people were kicking me all the time, I finally started living on top of the parking meter where Neora found me.

 

Sometimes I live in her car–which is, admittedly, warmer than the parking meter.  She’s introduced me to some people on her travels and taken me to some silly things like the bears’ tea party.  Sometimes she sticks me in her purse and then I really get to cruise ’round.

 

I guess taking a swim once in a while is worth putting up with.

Archive 10: The Perilous Problem of the Prime Minister

(From Ringo)

 

I shoulda known better.  That Prime Minister really needs to be watched.  After all, that’s why the Princess really wanted me to go with her everywhere.  The Scout is only a part time position.  I’m also, unbeknownst to her, the PMs body guard.

 

And sometimes, she does take guarding. 

 

Tuesday we went to a yarn shop and the coffee shop, they are next door to each other.  The coffee shop closes at ten and the PM sat there with their permission until 10:30 looking for her keys. She could not find them and finally decided she must have left them in the car starter.  So, she left.  But it wasn’t true, the keys were not there.  And it was not just the car key missing, it was the housekeys as well.  She looked all over.  She couldn’t find them.  She checked the trunk  to see if she dropped them there.  She didn’t.  She looked under the car.  Not there.  She tried to see if her car still had roadside assistance.  It didnt.

 

So I worked lots of over time taking care of her.  She kept falling asleep and waking up.  She thought a policeman would stop to see why the car was still parked there, but they didn’t.  If they did, she was going to ask them to give us a ride to an all night restaurant.  But they didn’t. 

 

So we wuz stuck until 6:30 the next morning when the coffee shop opened again.  The keys didn’t get turned in the shop or the  yarn store.  She missed most of work getting keys, etc.  Boy were we tired.

 

The Princess was not happy.

archive 9: From the Princess' Counsel

Having been summoned by Sir Ambassador Scout Ringo at your urgent behest, we are humbled yet pleased to be of service to Your Majesty.  It is our understanding that you most wisely want to adopt an heir to the Kingdom of Capitol Drive and so offer the following draft of adoption papers for the Most Adorable Princess  Coco:

 

 

‘Wherein the Most Adorable Princess Coco has matured into the role of a most regal yet beneficent Governor of her domain, managing said properties well as agent for the Queen Miss Catt and

 

Wherein HRH the Princess Treasure has undergone The Traumatic Event most dreaded by all of the feline species and is therefore forced to look afield for an heir and

 

Wherein it is believed than an relationship would foster the alliances between HRH and the Queen, as well as those of the Queen Bea (Emeritus) and

 

It is thought that the adoption of Princess Coco as successor to HRH the Princess Treasure would be of mutual benefit,

 

HRH the Princess Treasure sends her highest regards to the Princess Coco, offering her all rights and reponsibilities commiserate with such position.  As proof of her good will and sincerity, the Princess Treasure sends with her most trusted representative, Sir Ambassador Scout Ringo, the opalescent moonstone collar as a token of her regard.’

 

/ss/Esquire Blinkytoes, Cattorney at Law.

Archive 8: Ringo Reports

Dear Honored Members of the Security Counsel,

 

Thankfully, the situation in the kingdom is approaching normalcy again in many ways.  As the Prime Minister’s bat mitzvah ceremony has been accomplished, she has resumed her normally active role as administrator and chief attendant to HRH the Princess Treasure.

 

The Princess has decided to continue her morning rounds of the castleyard; she enjoys inspecting the royal carriages and greeting early risers such as the local squirrel living outside the front window and the bunny across the parking lot.  This, of course, means an added detail of agents in the morning, who have been most sufficiently trained by our consultant, the Agent Blackjack.

 

On Sunday morning, the Princess was served a large portion of the Herb of Contentment.  After imbibing, she relaxed and had several purr-cuddles on the PM’s lap.  The PM was again able to take the time to assist the Princess in working out any obstructed purrs.

 

It is to be hoped this felicitous period will continue.

 

Ambassador Scout Sir Ringo.

The Black Angel

Angel is a very special little black cat.  Angel lives in a 'group home' (where unrelated humans pretend to be a pride) with her human people.

Angel came to the group home with her mommie from their house where they lived together for many years.  They have always been good company for each other and have taken care of each other.

Angel was also a good citizen of the Realm because she would watch her yard and surroundings very well and nip problems in the bud.  She worked very hard as a scout and guard.  She and her mommie retired before moving into the pride.

Angel's mommie is very short and small.  To help her walk, she uses a rollator walker, which has big wheels, a seat and a bar across the back.  When she walks with it, Angel sits on the seat, props her front paws on the bar and makes sure the path is clear for her mommie.

We award Angel the Golden Heart award for her years of faithful service.

A week later

How good it is to have accomplished the adoption!  Princess Coco the Adorable is all I could have wished for in an heir.  She has a special empathy for the rescued and feral, having been rescued herself.  She is well-spoken and courteous.  She presents well with innate modesty and dignity; such admirable traits.

And I think that I could not have done better as matchmaker if I tried.  It appears Spitty and Hestorb are an item and both Simba and Miss Catt found the kiss memorable.

And precious Mario with his wide eyes and cute bowtie!

All in all, a memorable event and one which I am happy to have been a part of.

(from the Princess' diary)

A Dream Accomplished

Tonight's special edition covering The Royal Adoption is sponsored by Claws R Us, your source for expert assistance when your human just won't mind.  Success guaranteed.

**************************************************************************

It has been a weekend of historic events in the Realm of Capitol Drive: two rescued princesses of the Sphinx Dynasty form an alliance, The Queen Bea (Emeritus) sends a message, a romance forms between an Admiral and a Knight and a common citizen of the empire wins the grand chipmunk hunt!

But now for the final update on the adoption ceremony and ball:

Both the Queen Bea and the Princess Treasure underwent The Traumatic Event at a tender age.  Both knew the urgency of alliance or adoption to continue the benevolent rule they conducted over the Monarchy of St. Allis and the Realm of Capitol Drive.  Years of watching the royals and speculation regarding the fate of their lands fueled gossip which, on occasion, has caused great distress to the royal households.

Then, tragically, the Queen was forced to retreat to her country dower house in Richlands when she became too disabled to rule.  The Princess, with the generosity and social conscience she is known for, agreed to assume Regency for St. Allis.

There were possibilities; the son of a lady in waiting, a kitten adopted by neighboring humans, but all for naught.

Suddenly, Most Adorable Little Lady Coco appeared on the scene; another rescued member of the Sphinx Dynasty, she assumed governorship of a territory under the rule of Queen Miss Catt.  With grooming, the Princess realized that Lady Coco could become a worthy successor to the throne.

After time to grow into her responsibilities, the adoption was planned for 3-20-11, the spring equinox and a most propitious time for an adoption.

The ceremony was held on the promenade so as to allow a many of the citizenry as possible to participate in this historic event.  First to enter were agents, knight and diplomats in their official uniforms. After a fanfare by The Serenaders, an a cappello chorus, the Queen Miss Catt was ushered in by Simba, whose audacity in stealing a kiss from a queen has captivated the nation.  Next came Prime Minister Neora Warmlapp.

The arrival of the Princesses was delayed several minutes by the arrival of a missive from the Queen Bea welcoming Coco to the throne.  They were honored to be ushered by their jointly chosen escort, Mario.  Mario, selected for his modesty and skill displayed during the grand chipmunk hunt, appeared daunted by the occasion, but performed his duties capably.

As the sunset began, PM administered the oath of office to Princess Coco, who promised to honor the traditions of the Sphinx dynasty, to continue protecting all felinedom from nefarious dogs and to rule over realm and monarchy in a beneficent yet firm manner.  Cheers erupted as she was crowned with the diamond and ruby crown by Princess Treasure, who unbent so much as to nose tap and bonk Little Coco on the promenade.

Ribbons and feathers erupted over the courtyard.  Catnip sachets were the most popular of the keepsake available in the courtyard.

The Royal Ball immediately followed.  During the Grand Parade, the Admiral was escorted by Sir Spitfire (is a wedding too far behind?), the Queen Miss Catt was escorted by Simba, the Prime Minister was escorted by Sir Ambassador Scout Ringo.  Princess Treasure was escorted by Sir Ambassador Agent Blackjack and the Princess Coco, new heir to the throne, was escorted by Mario.  This was a historic precedent as a newly adopted Princess would typically be escorted by a Royal Uncle.

The decorations of catmint, oatgrass and catnip mice were enticing.  The music, provided by the Tin Alley Cats, provided the perfect backdrop for dancing.  A special, encore performance of 'Nip for Two' was provided by The Serenaders. 

A midnight dinner of creamed crab over rice followed by giblet tarts ended the series of events planned for this once-in-a-lifetime occasion.  The Royals and all guests will spend Monday and Tuesday recuperating from the festivities and sight-seeing before returning home.

Such Elegance, Such Pizazz

--reported by Fannie Floof

So yesterday saw the work of years of planning come to fruition.

After undergoing The Traumatic Event 12 years go, HRH Princess Treasure has known that she would need to adopt an heir to continue the successful rule of the Sphinx Dynasty over the Realm of Capitol Drive.  She and the Queen Bea Emeritus also needed someone to govern the Monarchy of St. Allis.

Yesterday her dream was fulfilled.  The day began about 10 with the grand chipmunk hunt.  Many common citizens as well as all the personages and royalty participated in this, making it a riotous event.  The first to produce a trophy was Mario, who steadfastly pursued his goal while others contested vigorously against each other.  Was The Spitster just a wee bit jealous of Simba after Simba's performance at the tournament?  Wink Wink...

Mario was awarded all the lizard turnovers and hummingbirds tongues he could eat.  He was also awarded a ribbon to fasten to his bow tie. 

Security does not allow us to report on the finalizing of the adoption papers.

Lunch on the promenade was a quiet affair with a light picnic of snails and crawfish. 

Watch for our special edition regarding the ceremony and ball later this evening.